Aiming for Blue Skies

17 Jan 2011 Leave a Comment

by yuume in Random Thoughts Tags: advice for the pathetic, Blue Skies, pathetic, Tips for Girls

Yuume’s Weather Report: Aim for Blue Skies after the Storm!

Now, how to get there?…

(Took this photo while having coffee at Starbucks, Harbour Square: such peace.)

I’ve never felt so happy and peaceful in my entire life. It’s been a while since I last had my share of laughs and I owe this to my close friends and my loved ones; for keeping me company and pulling me back to my old self.

I am so glad I have left my old pathetic life, it was only now that I’ve realized how gravely I’ve destroyed my life just because of a selfish love (that’s another story) and somehow, I want to share my advice to you to pull you out of your pathetic self.

(By the way Im back to photography! Took photo of some random girl in a park at QC Circle cause she’s sooo adorable. Do check my flickr page for more photos of my trip! )

If only I could go back to the old me, I’d tell myself to wait and save my tears. STOP BEING PATHETIC cause there’s definitely more to life! I’ve realized how hard I was crying and how many days were spent to waste crying my eyes out back in 2010. Yes crying…only to realize that my paranoia and depression stole special time I could have spent with special people–my family, my friends, my sister.

I remember an old tip given to me by a local taxi driver while I was on my way home from work. This was the time when I couldn’t stop myself from crying after having a cat-and-dog (in my case rabbit-and-cat) fight with my ex.

“Hija, kung ako sayo iipunin ko na lang lahat ng luha ko para sa lalake na yan tapos ilalagay ko sa bote. Tuwing iiyak ka ipunin mo ang luha mo tapos lagay mo sa maliit na bote, pag-puno na bigay mo sakanya tapos sabihin mo “O eto lahat ng luha na binigay mo sakin, binabalik ko na sayo” sabay maghintay ka na lng ng iba na tunay na magmamahal sayo. Kung hindi ka niya pinapasaya, marami naman dyan na tiyak makakapagpasaya sayo.“

(Little girl, if I were you I would save all my tears in a little bottle and once the little bottle is filled, I’d give it to my boy and say “Here are all the tears you had given me, now I am giving them back to you.” Then wait for someone else who would love you for who you are. If this boy could not give you happiness, I am pretty sure that there are a lot of boys out there who could make you truly happy”)

STOP being pathetic and take a good look at yourself in the mirror. Look closely, see? You aren’t really that ugly. You HAVE your assets, whatever they are, you are the one who knows them best and if you dont SHINE, no one else would notice them. But how could you shine with all these tears covering up your face?

1. Save your tears!–Dont you cry over your pathetic, asshole boyfriend. Save your tears for the people who REALLY loves you. One day you’ll find someone who will love you for who you are. Trust your instincts. Do not trust his every word. Keep a close watch over his ex-girlfriend/bestfriend. If she doesn’t have a boyfriend yet even after their break-up, she’s just probably waiting for him.  (unless he tells you that it’s really REALLY over and he will never go back to her) DO NOT INTERFERE with unsettled past relationship problems and make sure he deals with the skeletons in his closets ALONE, else the ex-bestfriend/girlfriend/whatever will haunt you mentally and emotionally and this will affect your relationship badly. Yes, Mr. Paranoia thank you for stating the obvious, and because of your problems they would eventually end up together again. So at the first feel of this awkward situation LET GO IMMEDIATELY, don’t you ever think of the positive WHAT IFs, think of the negative WHAT IFs or if you’re still being really hard headed about this stupid love of yours think about chasing after him 700 times. Remember, most guys get turned off when women chase after them and follow their every whim. What the hell are you thinking woman!? You know your worth! Let him chase after you. You are the diamond and he is your dog (or your kitty? ) Oh! but here’s a friendly reminder: almost always it is better to find a guy who loves dogs than a man who loves cats, because a man who loves cats is much harder to tame.

2. Be confident with yourself, even if you end up with no one –It is important that you know that you’ll be okay even without a guy. Guys are assholes and suckers for women they can’t reach. They love the taste of challenge. This ex of mine who wouldnt give a shit before, when I ask him for a date, or at least an ounce of sweetness I get easily rejected. (For chrissakes he doesnt even want to acknowledge me as his girlfriend–hence, we were in a non-bf/non-gf relationship hiatus for about 2 years) But when I found someone new, he started to claim for the “boyfriend” title, gave me flowers, texted i-love-you’s / I dont want to lose you shiznats frequently, went to our place frequently too. But then ofcourse I already knew how rotten he was (did I mention he hit me thrice? yes and I still didn’t leave him) and so I told him “let’s just be friends”. He retorted to “I dont know what to do, I dont even know if I’ll have a girlfriend anymore” and 2 months later TADAAAN–he’s back to his ex-bestfriend/girlfriend. Again…Sister dont fully trust boys with their words. Oh and another tip “Dont you go looking for someone to fix your heart, fix it yourself!” No one wants a broken object–whether it’s a painting with a missing piece or a broken panorama. Don’t rely on someone else for the “heartfix”, trust me–you dont want your boyfriend to drop the “you-would-still-be-broken-if-it-weren’t-for-me” statement one day, and believe me even if he didn’t fix you, there’s a good chance that he’d still drop that statement during an ugly fight (Remember that relationships are not always rainbows and butterflies) so better quip yourself with girl power by building you and pulling yourself up–all by yourself. Now how to get your heart fixed?… Spend time with people who REALLY care about you.  Well, if no one cares about you, then there’s probably something wrong with you (?)

Now if you do happen to meet the “right one”… (side-note: re-wording to  ”finding someone who you think is right”) let God intervene with you lives.

3. Make God your third party– Not you bestgirl/bestbud, not your friends but share all your problems, your happiness and your blessings to God. Make Him your third party or your confidante if you still haven’t met “The One” (No, Im not referring to you Neo!). Ask him for signs–I did and somehow I think I got them. Do not forget to offer him prayers and guidance specially on important matters on your relationship.  Attend the Sunday Mass together and don’t forget to thank Him for all your blessings–count your blessings not your problems!

Remember, no one will ever be right for you if you are not right with yourself.

Pray at night together–even if it means pausing for 5 minutes on the phone just to say your prayers together before you sleep. There’s no stronger foundation than having an intimate relationship with God. It’s a much tougher foundation than a 10 year-long friendship or an over the edge intimate romance.

Goodluck…

Ciao for now!